You know what I hate? Angst. Drama. People getting all upset over stupid little things. Being victims. Boo hoo, sob sob. Woe is me. I'm guilty of that, too. You should have seen me when my cat died. Who would think that you could actually go certifiable just cuz your fuzzy companion went to the great beyond? Or, as my cousin Dena put it:
"She went to Hell. I'm sorry, I know you loved her...but they needed their boss back."

Despite my grief, I thought that was rather clever. Anyways, I was completely digusted with myself and promptly decided to GET OVER IT. Shortly thereafter, once I had obtained two more cats (one of my future aspirations is to be a creepy cat lady. This is practice), I had a dream that Zoe and Rags, the two new cats, needed to go out of town for a while, but didn't trust me home alone, so Patches came back to life to keep me company while they were gone. We sat on the couch and watched TV and hung out until Zoe and Rags let themselves back in. They said something like, "Hey, we're back. You can go now. Thanks for watching her." Then Patches said, "See you later," and left via the backdoor (because she is buried in the backyard, you see). And then the two alive ones asked if I missed them. I did. Anyway, I consider it my acceptance of Patches' death. In a bizarre, semi-morbid kind of way. What did Patches mean by "See you later."? I often wonder if she meant, "See you soon."

The other day I rode my bike to work. Whenever I ride my bike, it pours outside. So it was about time to go and my Vati called to ask if I needed a ride.

"No, Daddy."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"It's no trouble."
Finally I told him we had a long distance call from Brazil and I had to go. The sad thing was, it wasn't a lie. Seth's girlfriend Fern was calling from exotic Rio De Janerio (how do you spell that?!?!?!). Actually, Fern and I were in the same fourth grade class in Waukegan (small world).


Anyways, after I finally convinced him I didn't need a ride, and I was fixing to go when John (coworker #2) said, "I'll give you a ride. You're on the way." And I said no thank you. And Seth says, "You can't go with him, his car's too small. I've got a pickup truck your bike will fit in." And then John said, "But it's crap. You'll end up stranded on the side of the road." They kept arguing and wouldn't let me just, y'know.... ride my bike. So then I went up front and Martha (coworker #3) asked if I needed a ride. I nearly screamed. Bob was the only one who saw sense: "Go ahead. Ride home and get wet. I don't care." So I snuck off when no one was watching. That's sad.

Um.............. Weston got a toad. I want to name it Alphonse but he won't let me. Dad got mad at me for calling him a pooperhead. I got a big pile o' cool stuff for my birthday, but no moon shoes. Do they exist anymore? Hmmmm.... The toad is stupid because it keeps trying to escape his tank...by swimming thru the glass. I love to watch it because it's very stupid.

Mum has recently revealed that she wants to get a dog once Eimile is in college. MY MUM. This is the woman who is literally counting the days until our rabbit kicks the bucket because she doesn't like it when we bring it in for the winter. She's not a cruel woman. She just doesn't dig rodents, apparently. She doesn't want it (the dog, not rodents) now because she thinks three kids and a dog is too much work. I said that with Weston back in the house she really had more like two kids and a dog, but neither of them were very amused. I think that's it for now. Except you wouldn't believe how many times I wrote GOD instead of DOG in that last sentence. AAAAAAAAAARRGH. I did it again.

I think the McDonald's by my house should change the marquis from "WE NOW ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS" to "WE NOW CATER TO YOUR SLOTH." It's important that the truth be told at all times. Wheeeeeeeee.

I conviced my mum to buy me some Harry Potter hand soap. It's cherry scented, but it really just smells like cough syrup. It "magically" turns from liquid to foam when you depress the pump. The only reason I wanted it was because the volume measurement: it's nine and three quarter ounces. If you don't get why that makes paying five dollars for soap from an already entirely over-commercialized series entirely worth it, then you really haven't read the books, now, have you? HAVE YOU??!?!?!?!?!??!

At the Gardens, I get yelled at for the weirdest things. Because our prices are too high, because we aren't open late enough, and once a guy got pissed at me because our bathroom was out of order. And I don't mean that people get mad in general. They actually get mad AT ME. Some lady the other day thought she was getting ripped off. She told me how our prices were ridiculous and we were driving away all our customers because we charge so much. I'm just smiling and nodding, because she still loaded up her cart, despite the fact that we were apparently hosing her. I'm just a dumb teenager working there as a summer job. What does she think I can do? So I just rung her up and at the end, she handed me her credit card, after all that whining, she tells me, "And you can tell that to your manager." What was wrong with that woman????????? I can just imagine that scene.
Manager #1
ME: Er.... Bob? Some chica out there thinks we're too expensive.
BOB: Don't care.

Manager #2
ME: Uh, Michelle? That lady over there hates me cuz we charge too much.
MICHELLE: F*ck her.

Yup. That'll work out real well.

I also got an elderly lady on heavy medication who asked me to fill out her check because she couldn't hold her pen steady. It was weeeeeeeeeeeeeird.

I have a new favorite phrase: Held together with spit and prayers. Know it, use it, wear it out. And read Artemis Fowl while you're at it. I want to marry that freaky little vampire genius child. Him or Butler. Sigh....... they're sooooo dreamy. In a criminal, super-violent kind of way.

I'm rich; did I mention? My account holds exactly $2,140.10. Oooooooooooo. You are burning with envy. I can feel it from here.

Show Idea:

Trading Spaces with special guest designer, Ozzy Osbourne.

You know you would watch it.

Actual Businesses:

-Curl Up And Dye (beauty parlor)
-C'mon Inn (motel)

Ramen:
Food of pitiably poor and desperately hungry college students or food of the gods?
I'm not entirely sure myself.

I have been taking polls for the last hour or so. The only thing I've learned about myself is that I'm not familiar with nearly enough bishounen. I'm also apparently a walking contradicton, as I was reported to be most like the following anime characters:

Chuchu (A monkey. A MONKEY.)
Akane ( A violently inclined tomboy)
Kaede (an ancient old lady whose sole purpose in life appears to be putting Kagome and Inu Yasha in embarassing situations)
Aeris (who, while lovable, is also a total sap)
and, although he's not anime
Jhonen Vasquez (A crazy cartoonist-type dude)

I don't get it. With the exception of Jhonen, I'm not ANY of those people. I think I might have to hunt down and glare viciously at who ever equated me with Chuchu.

Summer is here and I'm miserable. Why, oh why did I have to be conceived in late September, resulting in my being born on the last day of June?!?!? Most of my friends are splitsville for my birthday, and I'm sad without them. No one loves me. I swear, as soon as people find out my birthday, they pack their bags and head for the hills.