At least once a week, I look deep down inside myself and wonder, "Am I the most obnoxious jerk ever?" I don't know why. Sometimes it just occurs to me that I might not be the most charming person at times. In fact, I have had several occasions where I've convinced myself that I really am this unlikable, irritating creature and my friends are just humoring me because they're all just really nice people. On days like those, I want to turn to Kulsoom or Chris or Eliza or whoever and say, "Thank you so much for not punching me in the face, as I so greatly deserve to be." I know it sounds like I'm trying to squeeze some sympathy out of you, but I'm not. About 5 minutes after the sneaky little blighter of a thought enters my head, I disregard it. I know for a fact that Eliza would not hesitate in decking me if she felt it was neccesary, and I'm happy to report that she's yet to do it.
Mum bought this wierd angel for the top of the tree. It's one of those super-elaborate plastic numbers with the long flowing robes and big panyhose-stretched-over-wire-and-painted-white wings. She bought it cheap because it was in the "reject" pile in the Christmas store...the hair was melted funny or something. The point is, the angel is "accented" with those little fiberoptics ma-bobs that glow rainbow colors at the tips, so when she put batteries in it and turned it on, it looked like our own miniature Las Vegas. So tonight, for fun, we turned off all the lights, turned on the angel on, and stuck Zoe in front of it. She was
terrified. She leapt out of my arms, hissed, gave the thing a wide berth, and hid under the kitchen table until we moved it. I told Mum we should put it in the garden as pest control.
Mum loaned me the money to buy a Baby G, the watch I've wanted since 8th grade...when it was trendy. At this point, I wanted it simply because I didn't want to have to sneak over to a cash/wrap at the Barn when I'm clock-watching. Anyways, it does SO much more than give me an excuse to let my analog-clock-reading-skills fall into even further decay. It has the following nifty functions:
-completely water proof and shock proof (I could operate a jack hammer in Lake Michigan and it wouldn't bother the watch any)
-can hold up to twenty phone numbers (technically, it can hold 40, since each name entry is allowed 2 numbers)
-can set up to 5 different alarms, which can be programmed to, for example, go off at 5:15 pm every Sunday, or in 5 minutes, or at 9 am next Saturday, etc, etc... with icons so you can remember what you set the alarm for in the first place. There's a martini glass, a happy face, a sad face, a present, a telephone, a car, and a musical note, to name a few (that's right, there's more)
-stopwatch function
-day, date, and year
-glow button
-when you press the glow button, a little animation plays at the top. There's three you can choose from: a DJ that spins some tunes and then throw the record across the room (sometimes it makes it and sometimes it smashes), a break dancer who does the snake and then scoots backwards kicking out his legs (sometimes he does it right and sometimes he falls flat on his back), and two people who run to each other a la "John and Marsha" (sometimes she makes it and they spin around and kiss, and sometimes she trips and falls on her face)... these alone kept me entertained for about an hour after I got it
-oh yeah, it tells time too, I guess (hours, minutes, and seconds; can switch between standard and military time)
I keep getting these little blurbs that pop into my head. They're just these little things that occur to me as being horribly funny but I can never remember them. If you go to
Sinfest (Mum and Dad and whoever else: this is not as bad as it sounds) and look at the little things Tatsuya Ishida puts above his name on the comics, it's kind of like that. But like I said, I can't remember them. They appear, I giggle, and then they're gone. Like butterflies. Only I don't pursue them as much as my current Blog title would imply.
Sometimes I really impress myself with how fast I can type. I can just whip this stuff down without even thinking about it. I remember when I used to hunt-n-peck... this sentence alone would have taken me about 5 minutes to write. The thing is, I spent all of my keyboarding class on the internet. What would I be capable of if I had actually applied myself?????
Mum used to buy Precious Moments figurines for me. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Yeah... so there.
