Current heart throb: Vincent D'Onofrio (kindly ignore the fact that this man is old enough to be my father)

Now, I knew him as the guy from Law & Order: Criminal Intent (he's always just "the guy" because no one EVER uses anyone else's name in that thing). However, I was trying to explain my little crush to JJ, and she said, "Wait, the bug guy from Men In Black?" At first I was like, "Um, no!" But then I thought about it, and sure enough, he is the giant cockroach wandering around in a rotting-corpse-suit. I'm currently looking at his filmography, and while I never thought I'd say it, I might have to watch Adventures in Babysitting again (that is the one where she goes down to the city with the kids and the guy that comes with has to get stitches in his toe when someone drops a knife in his shoe, right? I haven't seen that movie since I was about...uh... since I was very little. I don't remember much). I can also see that he played some private in Full Metal Jacket. Um... I've never seen it. It says he was Private Pyle. Is he the one who went crazy? I remember Weston trying to explain it to me, but I had about as much interest in it as I have in any war movie (i.e. none). I won't see it now, either. I learned my lesson with Blackhawk Down (I'm looking at you, Chris). Hmm...he was also in Mystic Pizza (also unseen by me...). Although I haven't heard of many of his more recent movies.

You must be wondering what he looks like. Well, not really, but here are two pictures of him that I like:

Saucy.

Stare.

I mean, look at him. He always looks really tired, or like he needs a hug. How could you not love that? Admittedly, however, I watch A LOT of L&O:CI, so it may just be that I've fallen in love with his character. Or, as Chris put it, his character's mind. He's really manipulative and weird. I love it. He also likes to get information from people in stores and things by pretending he and his partner are a couple. I mean, they do it a lot, and 9 times out of 10, it's his idea. I don't think his partner thinks it's funny (but I sure do).

They (show writers) sometimes try and tell you a little bit about the characters' backgrounds, and apparently his mom's been in a mental institution since he was seven or something. So he's good looking (according to me), cool, and he's got issues. Don't ask. I really have no idea why (fictional) people with emotional baggage appeal to me so much. At least I'm not alone. I'm starting to think the only reason Nik, Chris, and I read Mars is in the constant hope that we'll see Rei crying.

How horrible. But strangely alluring.

Right, so yesterday I went to see Holes (oh, Shia, one day you will love me), saw a preview for Pirates of the Carribean (oh, Orlando, one day you will love me), and worshipped the X-Men 2 posters (oh, Hugh, one day you will love me). But that's not important (ok, the movies aren't important, but my little crushes are).

The POINT is that afterwards we went to B&N, and I found a book that I want desperately: The Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter. Yeah, I realize the title is a little..... ANYWAY, someone would have to be blind AND extremely...uh... not as obsessed with this stuff as I am...er... let's just stick with blind. Someone would have to be blind not to pick up on the references to classic literature, mythology, and (to a much lesser extent) numerology. But until I started looking through this book, I had no idea how much I was missing. Even if only half of it is intentionally put there (as opposed to reading way too much into anything), it's still TONS of stuff. Like Voldemort's name. I knew it breaks down into Vol De Mort, which is French for "flight from death" (although, interestingly, the verb voler can mean "to steal" as well...). But what I didn't know was that a common name for feudal-era Danish kings was "Valdemar" (or something like that.. I don't remember exactly), which is a cool historical reference. And Hedwig, Harry's owl, was named after a saint who supposedly was the guardian of orphans. Isn't that cool?

I'm not the biggest dork ever, what are you talking about?

Anyway, even though I had the money, I didn't buy it because I'm trying to develop some self-restraint when it comes to books. Yesterday I bought Red Unicorn by Tanith Lee, and today I realized it was number three in a series. You know what my first thought was? Not, "I'd better take this back, then." No, it was "I wonder how soon I can get to the book store and track down the other two?"

So I need some control.

Anyway, the degree to which I am emotionally involved in the HP books is crazy-ridiculous. I probably need professional help. But then, so does half the world when it comes to those bad boys. But still, I go into a complete catharsis whenever I read HP and the Goblet of Fire, and I've read it about five times. I'm starting to think I've developed a kind of emotional dependence on these books. It's kind of scary.

Here are some funny song lyrics that I'm not entirely sure are supposed to be funny:

The Stupid Things - Thicke

Just charge it to my account
I hope I haven't gone over my limit
With interest rates so swift
No need to scream and shout
No doubt women are from Venus now
I'll get to you somehow

All I wanna do is please you
Please myself by living my life too
And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on how I feel about you

Oh, yes, I recall
Skipping on breakfast to play basketball
Then feeling two feet small
Sometimes you read like William Shakes
Your scent is sweet like Betty Crocker bakes
I'd love to have your cake and eat it too

All I wanna do is please you
Please myself by living my life too
And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on how I feel about you

The funny thing is that this is set to a really slow, beautiful piano song. Hee hee.

Hey, I found a new toy. NationStates lets you make up and run (or destroy from within) your own country. Yay! Mine is The Rogue Nation of Seven Stars (don't ask why, because I don't know). Go check it out. I haven't completely decimated it yet; you should be proud. Although I have just approved a plan to put security cameras in major public places (have I destroyed their right to privacy? Oh well). Go make your own and we can all giggle over them. Go on now.

I babysat Kevan Wednesday and Thursday. Took him to his French Class again. It was the easiest 75 bucks I ever made (that's for both days, by the way...they pay me well but not that well). Goodness, but I do love that boy. Not that you hear it every 30 seconds from me, or anything.

Yesterday I rode my bike to work, and as I was riding out of the driveway-thing, a lady pulled in. Only she pulled into the bikepath. The funny thing is that she kept driving for a couple yards before she was parallel to the building instead of getting closer to it. Since she was driving a Jeep the size of a small European nation, I had to go onto the grass and go around her. Grrr...

Then Andrew came by and kidnapped me for the third time this week, and we bought some really nasty "Tropical Sprite Remix," which is Sprite with some new ingredients that make it taste like fruity CRAP. The thing is, I think the makers knew this and threw in an addictive ingredient as well, because even though we both thought it tasted awful, Andrew and I could NOT stop drinking it. 'Twas strange. Then we (read as: I) bought a little bitty three dollar cup of Dippin' Dots, ate it in about .5 seconds, and chewed on our respective spoons on the drive home. When he dropped me off, I waved and the spoon went flying out of my hand and he couldn't back out of our driveway, he was laughing so hard. It was very funny to us, but when I tried explaining the hilarity to my mum, she just gave me a funny look.

Today I cleaned out our bathroom closet, and it was by far one of the most foul procedures of my life. I don't even know where we got half that stuff. Athlete's foot treatment? None of us are athletes! About a thousand remnants from various relaxers and hair dyes. Flea and Tick Powder? What?!?!? Something orange and gooey that I wouldn't touch even if paid in large sums of cash in small, nonconsecutive bills. But now it doesn't look so icky, so I made mum stand and stare into it and WORSHIP it. It was just that good.

Whenever I try to explain the beautiful work of genius that is Sealab 2021 to other people, they have no idea what I'm talking about. I tried to tell Sammi how funny it is, but she seemed to think it was a "you had to be there" sort of thing. Which it is. It's also very funny late at night and less so once you're no longer sleep-deprived. But I still love it.

Oh, I've created another nation (although this one seems to be in a worse condition). I have no idea. I just like running other (imaginary) people's lives. Call it a character flaw. Here it is. I've just forbidden a Nazi Sympathizer Rally. Go me.

Criminal, Fiona Apple

I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins
I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep livin' this day
Like the next will never come

Oh help me, but don't tell me to deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these thoughts til I'm good enough for him
I've got a lot to lose
And I'm bettin' high so I'm beggin' you
Before it ends
Just tell me where I begin

What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know

What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Just some song lyrics today, because I feel like it. I was going to put down the words to Mouth, but they don't make any sense. Well, alright. Since you insist.

you gave me this, made me give, your silver grin, still sticking it in
you have soul machine, soul machine
the longest kiss, feeling furniture days
drift madly to you, pollute my heart, drain
you have broken me, broken me
all your mental armor drags me down, nothing hurts like your mouth

your loaded smiles and pretty just desserts
wish it all for you, so much it never hurts
you have soul machine, stolen me
all your mental armor drags me down
we can't breathe when you come around
all your mental armor drags me down nothing hurts like your mouth
mouth mouth your mouth mouth mouthyour mouth mouth mouth

we've been missing long before, never found our way home
we've been missing long before, where we'll find our way

you gave me this, made me give, you have soul machine broken free
all your mental armor drags me down we can't breathe when you come around
all your mental armor drags me down nothing hurts like your mouth
mouth mouth your mouth mouth mouth your mouth mouth mouth
all your mental armor all your mental armor and your mouth mouth

Don't say I didn't warn you. It's an incredibly intense song, anyway. I love the ones with a lot of feeling behind them, no matter what the feeling is (except for anger and any variants thereof. I can't stand the angry ones, for some reason). As long as the singer is really pouring himself or herself into the song, I usually love it. That's why I like Destiny's Child so much. Beyonce can really belt those things out. It's pretty amazing.

Oh, by the way, Mr Kash had his kid. He named it Casimir. You can't come up with this stuff. Life is the best plot line ever.

I bought this really cool book on Saturday: Shelf Space: Modern Package Design 1945-1965. It has all these old um...packages in it. I don't know. I just really love looking at old ads and things because they seem so ridiculous. The book even mentions one of the things that always puzzled me: the 50s housewife with the brand new appliance/mop/detergent or whatever, looking at the thing like it's her own personal Jesus:
"Sometimes women were posed, looking in adoring wonder beside an appliance...you needed your new freezer so that you, too, could be algow and seeing stars of satisfaction."

Hilarious. You can find more old ads here. While you're at it, check out the rest of Lileks.com. It's quite amusing.

Hm... I think I'm going to try writing a poem about lip gloss. I'll let you know how it comes out.

Once again: my own Live Journal site. Same posts as here, but you can comment if you want. Go me. Actually, go you, since you'll be the one visiting and whatnot.

Bob didn't break his hands, but they're still very puffy and now his fingers have turned purple. If I were him, I'd be at home sobbing. But he just keeps moving like it's nothing. That man....

I had to WORK yesterday, which was the most criminal thing ever. We got tons of customers and I just kept thinking,"Don't these people have families they should be spending quality time with right now?!" Because it wasn't even as if they were buying Easter lilies. People were buying their perennials and stuff. It was ridiculous. First of all, we don't even have TIME to do more than some quick last-minute-ingredient-shopping for the food we bring round to Aunt Debbie's/ Grandma's. How these people find time to spend about SIX ZILLION HOURS in a greenhouse is beyond me. Granted, not all of them were likely to be Christian, but still. If I had Sunday off, I would spend it at home, cleaning and cooking and things. Can't they shop on Friday and Saturday, like kind, humane souls would do? Nooooooo. They just have to harass me. And of course they're really rude about it. God forbid they be polite to the teenage girl ringing them up. Not like I'm human or anything.

Ok, just had to get it off my chest. I'm done now. Honest.

On the plus side, I was let out early, and I got to play with Ellen and Gracie and Shannon and Kevan (although I was too late to hit the Gordon side and so missed Jax, Jalon, and Ally), which was awesome. Barb said I wasn't allowed to kidnap Kevan (Grandma ratted on me. Grrr), but I did arrange to sit for her over the long weekend and over the summer. Gracie and Ellen refused to come home with me, but Bob and Simone agreed to let me take the train down and spend the weekend with them (seeing museums and walking around Chicago and spending time with the two cutest little girls in the world). Shannon is nearly always willing to go home with me, but her parents have a very strong attachment to her and won't let her go, even when I offer them Eimile in her place. So my kidnapped-cousin-count is at the same count it's always been: 0. One of these days....

Chris and Soom came over today to study Stats with me. Poor Soom, she tried, she really did. It's not her fault that Chris and I
-Hate the class with a passion
-Will take any and every excuse to escape studying for it
-Found many, many excuses, on my computer alone.

She did make us a nice study guide, and the two of them actually drilled quite a bit into my head before we all gave into temptation and watched the music videos I downloaded. Between them and the meeting I'll have with Mr Meagher tomorrow, I should do alright. I got a 20/25 on this last quiz (that's 80%, but Mr Meagher refused to make it worth 90% of my grade for the year). Once again, I don't think people give my friends enough credit for putting up with me. I know I would have throttled me by now. But I always say that. What's really nice is that there's always some one you can turn to. Even just whine to (it's amazing, the whining they'll listen to). Like today, I was all pouty and Chris asked me what was wrong. I said was mad at Nik for no good reason and she gave me this look like I was crazy. Then I amended that I was mad at her for no new reason. I was all happy that she was so sympathetic towards me. Yay. I like friends.

Ohhhhh! Today during Drawing and Printmaking, Nik and I were having another discussion, and Mr Hay came over and stood behind me. I thought he was mad at us for talking instead of drawing, but instead he wanted to borrow my picture to use as an example of his students' work at a job interview. I was really touched that he would want to use mine, especially considering that I always accuse him of oppressing me.

Speaking of art, I've discovered a great new way of entertaining myself. I can draw these cute big-headed stick-figure things on MS paint, and I spent all night Saturday recreating myself, Chris, Soom, and Eliza, and all were suitable delighted with them. I like the new style so much, I decided to draw my next comic in it. It's one of the Caitlin/ Andrew collaborations. It's one of Andrew's plots: I'm bored and he suggests I try being a lesbian for a day (my response: "Why is being gay your answer for everything?"). But it turns out that the girl Andrew picked for me to hit on is just an extremely effeminate guy. So there's a lot of confusion about who's what, and finally we all pick our sexual preferences out of hat, don't like what we get, and end up switching. This is very funny to Andrew and me, but few others.

Hm..."lesbian" is not a very pretty word. We should make up a better one. They need something prettier. More lyrical.

ANYWAY, so then I remembered what happened when I first met Andrew, so I started making a comic out of that, and Andrew decided that I was just cranking these things out, so then he gave me this whole list of characters and plotlines to put in this comic. One is the mayor of our town, who also happens to be a bear. I drew him with a tie and a briefcase. And Julia wants to be in the comic, too. She asked me to make her really hot. I'm just trying to work out how to draw blonde dreads.

Ergh. Today I was walking down the hall and one of those super-irritating rowdy boys made this big leap backwards and practically landed on my chest, which hurt like nobody's business. He didn't even notice or apologize. What a poopy head.

OK, I'm on Live Journal now. Code courtesy of Em. Don't worry, I'll just be posting the same entries on both sites, so if for whatever reason you don't feel like going to me LJ site
http://www.livejournal.com/users/fallingzophiel
you can still hang out here. The only difference is that you can post comments on LJ, so if you have something to say to me, you can put it there and not only will I be able to see it, but any other readers as well. If you go there right now, you will find yesterday's post (same as on Blogger), as well as a test post that rambles a bit about dinner with my Grandmother. I don't know why. It's probably better not to ask, at any rate.

Ok, I started this post about ten million years ago and just now got back to it, so I didn't really post it on the tenth, so try not to get too confused. Anyway, on with the show:

My pinky toes are really gross. I'm not sure I would even call them toes. They are just little nubs of flesh. You can't even tell there's a nail on it some where. You have to look really hard for it. It's pretty sick. Especially since the rest of my toes look reasonably normal. Only my pinky toes are freakish and disturbing.

Andrew and I have decided that we are SOUL MATES, because of the following:
-We both can hear that weird high pitched noise that comes from TVs. Some people can't hear it, for some reason.
-We both hate the sound of teeth on forks. I have discussed this in particular with Mum several times. It was a mistake, since now she chomps down on her fork whenever the opportunity arises. Jerk.
AND FINALLY
-We both have that thing with our tongues where there's that little extra bit of skin that holds it down so we can't stick it out all the way. Andrew says the term is "Tongue Tied" which sounds very weird to me. But he got his wisdom teeth out a while ago, and they clipped it then. But I'm not the only one with a defective tongue, and that makes me feel better.

Um...I dropped my Vanilla Coke can into my Easy Mac, so when I picked the can to take a drink, there was a macaroni stuck to the side....

Myep. So yesterday I went out to see Bend It Like Beckham with Soom and Chris and I promised Mum that I'd either
a) be home on time
or
b) call her and let her know where I am, etc, if I am late.

This is because last time I went out I didn't get back until after midnight and they had no idea what was going on. I'm always abusing how easy-going my parents are about these things. They know I'm with my friends and that trying to get me to do "bad stuff" is like trying to carve a pumpkin with a plastic spork (darn near impossible and just plain silly anyway), so they don't care that I'm out late. They do care that they have absolutely no idea where I am after a certain period of time. Anyway, so yesterday, we were going to be home on time. We were right outside my house at about 11. But Chris was in the middle of a story, so we hung out in the neighborhood for a while, and then it turned into girl talk and before we knew it, it was 12 am on a Thursday night and none of us were home. Oops. I decided it would be funny but useless to call home when I was about 3 feet away from home, so I kind of got a talking to when I got in.

So TODAY (the 18th), Andrew called and asked if I wanted to do anything (he claimed he wanted to go shoe shopping), so I said Ok. But then he didn't feel like going to the mall so we just drove around Vernon Hills for a while and I told him that it was the worst attempted kidnapping I had ever been a part of. So we went to Chili's and ate food and he spilled his barbeque sauce on the table and kept forgetting about it and sticking his elbow in it. Then we went to Target and Michael's and then just picked a random direction and drove and hoped it would eventually lead to my house while we sang along to Janet Jackson songs. We realized that we had gone directly from "strangers" to "attached at the hip" with no discernible transition period over the past few months. Which is just really weird to think about.

I had brunch with the usual suspects today for Sammi's birthday. I sat between JJ and Sammi, which was cool, only they both were eating eggs, which is just SICK and WRONG. And Brad showed us his foot (well, he showed Amy, and I accidentally got a better look at it than I ever wanted to. EVER, I tell you). It was fun and wacky and cool to hang out with people I both knew well (Chris, Eliza, Amy, JJ, etc) and those I hadn't really talked to a lot lately (Caroline, Tess, etc).

Then I had to go to WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK. Which was alright, I guess, only Bob is a total nut bag. We have these big metal shelf-things on wheels for moving perennials, right? These suckers are really big and clatter-y and scary because I always think the shelves are going to come crashing down at any minute when I'm pushing them. Well, today they did. On Bob's hands. While fully loaded with perennials (the shelves, not his hands. Geez, where do you get these ridiculous ideas?).

His hands were about the size of watermelons. And he was still working. When Andrew and I drove by at nearly 7, his car was still there. So he had been working for at least 7 hours. With two potentially broken hands.

The funny thing is that he's an X Ray technician.

I really adore my friends. Sometimes I really wonder where I would be without Chris and Soom and everyone. Probably hiding under a rock somewhere. It felt really nice to talk to them yesterday. And to be talked to. I honestly felt like no one wanted to talk to me anymore, so I was really happy yesterday because people really do think of me as more than a bouncing little joke-machine. Although I do enjoy that role as well.

Even if they did make me watch Blackhawk Down. I will never forgive them for that. YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!. Nor will I ever let you forget it. But I still love you guys. We just need to make an agreement: only to watch movies where the only redeeming factor (read as: hot guy) doesn't DIE in the first 15 minutes of the movie, the rest of which consists solely of graphic violence and explosions. I slept through battle of the bands sophmore year. I would have slept through BHD. Only Chris, Soom, and David insisted on adding their own little comments to the movie. Like: "Oh my GOD, were those his intestines??!!??!!?!?!?!??!?!"

Joy abounding.

Yeah, I know if you're in regular contact with me you've heard this story about 15 zillion times already, but there are others for whom this site is the sole link to the wackiness that is my life. So you have to be patient with me. Or not. Just try not to beat me too severely.

Actually, the first time I went to see Bend It Like Beckham was with one of these people, Mum's friend from work. Hi, Kelly!

Ok, Eddie's stalkerdom is getting out of hand. Chris promised she'd tell him off for me, since my overt hostility is apparently not enough to get him to back off. Pray God that does something, or I'm going to have to carry mace with me to gym class (actually, this is not a bad idea, as I could use it on Mr Sopha as well).

We went to the beach on Tuesday, and it was BRILLIANT. Chris, Soom, and I were the only ones brave enough to get more than our toes wet, and we danced in the waves until we couldn't feel our legs and our thighs looked like boiled hams. Mmmm. Then we helped JJ and Jill bury Andrew in the sand and made him into a mermaid. Then we were supposed to go get ice cream, but we were delayed slightly when Soom remembered she had to pick up her brother, so when he got in the car I pointed at him and said, "I'd be eating ice cream right now if it weren't for you" in a very accusatory voice. He seemed rather weirded out, so mission accomplished. He no longer considered my encouraging him to get him a monocle as strange, so I had to switch tactics. So Tuesday was good. Only because of the frolicking and Mr Sopha's new Nazi Regime in gym class, I was really tired and sore the next day. I was a zombie who couldn't lift her legs or arms higher that her knee or armpit height, respectively. Which made me TONS of fun and VERY helpful at work. Not.

I just got my PB Teen catalog. While some of the stuff is cool, there's a lot that is lame. Why do people think that the thing teens want these days is anything really busy? For girls, anyway. There're flower patterns and stripes and paisley and OH MY GOD WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END!?!?!?!? Plus they try to make the product descriptions sound hip. But they sound like a very stupid person with a shakey grasp of the English language wrote them. And while I'll be the first to admit that this describes many teens very well, that doesn't mean it should carry over into our overpriced furniture catalogs.

Wow, this doesn't happen to me everytime Brad brings me something from Mitsuwa, nooooo. God, I love Penny Arcade.

Utada Hikaru translated one of the Emily books into Japanese. You know Emily, the little girl with the attitude and black and white and red illustrations? Those? Yeah. Hikki translated it so the Japanese can worship it as much as we do. Could that girl (Hikki, not Emily) get any cooler? No. Maybe. We'll see.

Oh, I forgot to say that Mum wanted to get me a birthstone bracelet, but they were out of June so I got November. I like November. It's a nice month. And it will cause much confusion, which is always good.

You know how some people are completely paranoid about making left turns? Like they hate them and won't make them and figure out how to get places by only making right turns?

Well, I'm not one of them (which actually comes as something of a surprise, since I'm such a driving weenie). It's right turns I hate. I always think I'm going to take it too wide and go careening into the next lane. Left turns give you more time to coordinate. You just glide right through.

I love left turns.

Have you ever noticed how inconcievably useless the word "tasty" is? Really useless, that word. To say something is "tasty" is to say it has taste. It is never indicated if said taste is good, bad, salty, or delightfully fruity with just a hint of nutmeg. Just that it has taste. So very useless.

You'll never guess who came in to the Gardens today looking for a job? James Baldwin, Mark-the-pathetic-excuse-for-a-human-being's little brother. He used to work at Whole Foods, too (I snuck a look at his application).

And when Dad dropped off my lunch today, he told me that Eddie called again. But it's OK-- they pretended they weren't home. I'm so proud of them.

The point is, what with Cindi being at MY mall, and MTPEFAHB's brother at MY place of employment, and Eddie FRIGGIN' STALKING ME, I'm feeling at bit boxed in right now. Not that James has ever committed any sort of trangression against me, and has been rather decent any time I've ever talked to him. BUT, through PURE ASSOCIATION with his brother, he made me uncomfortable. But it's not like I flung myself over the counter and started bashing his head into the ground, or anything.

It's just the principle of the thing. Why can't I see Orlando Bloom at the mall? Why didn't Heath Ledger come into JG today? Why can't Hugh Jackman be stalking me (instead of the other way around. But you weren't supposed to know that)?

Really, I'm not that picky. Nice guy, reasonably cute, sense of humor, STRAIGHT EDGE, tolerance for me and my frequent outbursts of insanity, decent teeth, and smells like coconuts. Is that so much to ask?

Well, tough.

Also, I've been informed I need to make people WORK for my trust, instead of simply giving it to them. Which is actually harder that it sounds (for me, anyway).

Oh
My
God

I think I might cry.

This is the closest thing I have to a love life, you know that, right?

It really isn't fair.

I got home about 5 minutes ago, and Weston said, "Hey, check the caller ID."

So I did. The first name that pops up is "RUSH."

"Oh, what did he want?" I ask.

"Keep going," says Weston.

So I do.

Rush
Rush
Rush
Rush
Rush

And so on.

Eddie called TEN TIMES.

I really am going to cry.

I had been planning on sitting around the house today, but ended up spending the day with Mum and Drea instead. I'm so glad I did. If he had actually managed to get ahold of me....

I think I would have said lots of very unkind things that, although I would feel very bad about saying, I would still mean very much.
So, yeah.

The following is an exerpt from an IM between Andrew and me:

Mooglehead girl: I saw my grandparents' dogs today
Mooglehead girl: my aunt thinks they're gay
Aesch11: why
Mooglehead girl: they spend a lot of time together
Aesch11: well do they only drink bottled water? are all of their dog friends female but they never seem to mate?
Mooglehead girl: if that's the only other thing in the house that barks, you'd be friends too

I bought a journal today. I've been thinking I should keep a diary of some kind that other people don't have access to, so I can write down EVERYTHING that comes to mind, not just the entertaining bits. I already do have a journal, but I don't really write in it. The paper in it is graph paper, so I end up drawing on it a lot. The new one has ACTUAL LINES to discourage doodles. I plan on writing in it TONIGHT. I'm very excited. I am using CAPS quite a bit today.

It might be because of Feeling Sorry For Celia. It makes me want to have a pen pal again. I used to have one (her name was Katya). She was very nice and big-sistery to me. We used to exchange emails and IM each other all the time. But then she stopped writing me. It might have been because she went to college, and simply lost track of me because of her new academic career. But she stopped writing after I sent her a picture of me (she had promised to send one from her prom). So sometimes I think she stopped because of that. I don't think so, because she was WAY too nice to pull some crap like that, but you never know. The point is, I miss Katya a lot. I want another pen pal because she was so cool. I want to be all big sistery to some random kid, too. Sniff. Ah, well. Life goes on.

OK, now I really will talk about Short Program, as promised in the earlier post:
I LOVE this manga. The art style is ok, nothing spectacular. Very old school. It's the story lines in this bad boy that I live for. Shall I write about one for your enjoyment? Mum, don't roll your eyes at me like that. I think you'd like SP if you gave it a chance. If not, then stop reading.

OK. I'll tell you about my favorite one. Maybe next time, I'll tell you about Nik's favorite. Then the one I find to be very beautiful but mind-numbingly depressing.

Anyway. If it seems like I'm describing random, stupid, meaningless stuff, it all comes together in the end, so just trust me.

Program 9: Purple

Ok, you see this cute girl in a school uniform getting ready for school (her name is Haruna) and her mom asks her if she brought in the mail. She thinks about it for a moment, then runs out to her back yard to her dog house. She shoves her dog aside, and we find out that the dog (whose name, for whatever reason, is 61) is some kind of weird mail klepto who has stolen their newspaper and keeps it in his dog house. But Haruna takes it back.

Then we see a tree on this school yard, with a boy sitting on a branch reading. He is approached by three SCAAAAARY looking girls (his name is Murasaki). They're an all-girls gang called the Reds (the leader's name means "red" in Japanese) and they want him to join their group to help them deal with the schools rival all-girls gang, the Blues (guess what their leader's name means?). But he says no and scampers. Apparently he's the school heart-throb and every female in the school is retarded for him. Including the scary gang girls (actually, they're more like petty thugs).

So we see Haruna and her best friend (who is the class president, and really beautiful, and perfect in every way, ect) walking down the hall and the Class President gets hassled by the Blues. She complains about it to Haruna, who says they just do it because she's so pretty and composed. They just want to get under her skin. This just makes CP huffy, and she whines about not being treated with respect.

Later, Haruna is in class, but she's daydreaming and staring out the window instead of paying attention (kind of like ME), and she sees a cat fall off the roof. She's very upset until she sees Murasaki comfort the little kitty. Then she wishes SHE was a cat.

Um, then you see H and CP playing tennis on the courts, and M walks by with his soccer ball under his arm. They make eye contact, so she waves. He smiles, so she waves the end of her ponytail at him. He smiles more, so she whirls her hair around like a helicopter. Which just makes him look at her funny. There was no point to talking about that scene. I just think it's cute. I probably would have done something like that, really.

So there's a new transfer student in school. I think he looks creepy. But the kids in the manga seem to think he's pretty hot. CP whines to him about the Reds and the Blues. They've been giving her more grief, apparently. So CP and H go to M and ask him to talk to the Red and the Blues. CP argues that since they all have crushes on him, they'll do anything he says. But he tells her that they just do it to get a rise out of her, and just to ignore them. CP storms off all in a huff, and tells H that she no longer likes M. H is ecstatic, since she feels her greatest rival has just dropped out of the race for his affections.

Apparently, H's birthday is coming up, and there are a couple pages of her blackmailing various friends into buying her presents. She's so cute. At one point, you see M behind her, and he smiles as she beats the generosity out of some kid. Then she meets up with CP, who is talking to creepy transfer student, but she walks H home when they finish their conversation.

The next day, H has a big pile of presents, but she sighs and wishes she had one from M. Then she tells herself not to be greedy.

Later: H comes running into some random classroom in a panic, saying that the transfer student is in a fight with the Reds and the Blues out back. CP admits that she told TS that if he beat them up for her, she'd go out with him. She didn't think he'd actually do it. The two of them race outside, thinking he's going to be flattened by two gangs of irate teenage girls....only to find him wiping the floor with them. He's really scary and basically just going WAY too far. He did it all to go out with CP. CREEPY. Then in comes Murasaki! Creepy TS thinks he's another gang member, and asks if he's a Red or a Blue. M says he's a purple (this is a bad joke-ish thing because Murasaki means purple in Japanese). Anyway, M beats up TS (yay!) and saves the day. CP tells Haruna that she doesn't hate M anymore (no fair), then runs off to find the school nurse. M is about to saunter off, but as he passes H, he leans over and says, "don't tell anyone about the misspellings on your birthday card."

But she has no idea what he's talking about. That's when she remembers her weird klepto dog. She runs to the dog house when she gets home, and sure enough, there's a card from Junichi Murasaki. She opens it up and it reads:

I don't know you well enough to send you a present so I'm sending you this card instead. I anticipait that next year, we'll have that corrected, so I can give you the present you deserve. I look forward to your cooperation in that matter...."

Purple: The End

See? Isn't it the coolest? Don't you love it? It's better first-hand. I'll lend it to you if you want. And by "lend" I mean, "force it on you."

Ok, time to wrap it up. Hey, my room smells like feet. That makes me sad. I should do some laundry. That will make me happier.

Jaylon's birthday today. It was quite fun. Ally (spelling? I should really learn my family members' names) wouldn't give me a kiss at first, but by the end of the afternoon, she was making me carry her around my Aunt Debbie's house. Everyone was playing with their phones, but mine was the belle of the ball because everyone wanted it. But it is only for Caitlin. Bwa ha ha.

I went shopping yesterday. I spent a lot of the money that I made this week. But I have lots of cool stuff now (Chris!!! If you are back from your stinky cruise, I have Chobits 5! If you don't move fast, I will be forced to let someone else read it first!). A pink J Crew shirt is my current prize.

I'm updating from my Uncle Greg's laptop with wireless internet. Tis good.

You'll never guess who I saw at the mall today when I was with Mum, and Drea, and Eimile?!?! Being tall and creepy and wearing Nikolas' coat?!?!?! Yes, that's right. Cindi! It was horrible. Gurnee Mills is no longer the safe haven it once was. I think I may have to find a new mall to crawl.

How did he get there, anyway? Boy needs Eliza to go farther than a block.

Jerk.

I talked to my family today (quite a bit of Mum's side anyway) and they all say to stop worrying about other people's lives and take care of my own. I'm getting this advice rather unanimously, so I think I'm going to work on this. It must be good if Drea agrees with my Mum about it. They NEVER agree.

In the mean time, here's a quote from Feeling Sorry For Celia that sounds about right regarding my situation. I read this book a while ago, and thought, "Wow, what a good book. I'm so glad MY life isn't like that. They are so strong for coping with something like that. God knows I don't have that kind of strength." Ha ha. Ah, I don't feel like putting it up. It would just hurt Nik's feelings. So I won't. But Eliza... PLEASE READ FSFC AGAIN. It would mean a lot to me. Because I kind of feel like it's my life right now. A little. In a very obtuse way.

Anyway, I think I'll do another post tonight, outlining some Short Program chapters. SP is one of the coolest manga on the planet. You will love it, no matter who you are. Trust me.

Also, I changed my cell phone ringer to Stoccata and Fugue in D Minor. And I'm trying to figure out how to do text messages. Yay me.

Aww CRAP:

Some Famous Folks That Share Your Sign!
June 30, 1966 - Mike Tyson - Fighter

I also know I share a birthday with Hulk Hogan. WHY ME GOD?!?!?
I know, I'll pretend I was born on the first of July, since I maybe was. Let's see what that gets me:

July 1, 1934 - Jamie Farr - Actor
July 1, 1952 - Dan Aykroyd - Actor

Sob.

I've been doing the Kevan thing since Tuesday (today was the last day. Sadness). Here's a little shakedown:

-He likes to say "Bonjour" to you if he hasn't seen you for any stretch time. Including if you just stepped out of the room and came back.

-He likes to say "Aurevoir" whenever a door closes. Closets, refrigerators, you name it.

-He's soooooooooooooooooo durned KEWT. I told Barb that if she ever wakes up one morning and he's missing, she should check at our house first, as I've most likely kidnapped him.

-Because his language videos feature lots of different women who all were called Mommy, he thinks women in general are "Mommy." On the first day, Eimile, Barb, and I were all called Mommy. On the second day, Eimile and I tried teaching him our names, but he still called me Mommy and called Eimile "Kiteen," which I assumed was his attempt at my name. Today I was STILL Mommy, and Eimile was "Oh my." Which was too cute for words.

-He likes tickles. You can just say the word tickle, and he will start giggling.

-He got more comfortable with me over time, and when I took him to his French class today, he didn't so much sit on my lap as use me as a couch. He was just lounging all over me. Aww.

-Because he's only allowed to go downstairs backwards on his tummy, and is constantly reminded of it, he will say "tummy" everytime he walks by a set of stairs. I think he thinks "tummy" is what you call stairs.

-Once I was walking around the house holding him, and when I tried to put him down, he started crying. Yay! He likes me!

Anyway, the last three days have, instead of curing me, only gotten me even more addicted to toddlers (wow, I'm turning into Amy). Ooooh, Saturday is Jaylon's (spelling?) birthday! And Allie (spelling again?) should be there, too. Aww, their parents will never see them again. I'll take them home with me. I love my big ol' family soooo much. I get a new wave of kiddies to play with. Yay! Now I wish I had gotten along with Eimile better when she was itty bitty. But I couldn't really stand her then. My loss.

The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac. It can range from the timid, dull, shy and withdrawn to the most brilliant, and famous Cancerians are to be found through the whole range of human activity. It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family. `Nest like' is an appropriate adjective for the Cancerian home, for its inhabitants tend to favor the dark, mysterious but comfortable type of house which has something of the air of a den about it, a place which belongs to the family rather than existing as a showcase to impress visitors.
That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love. They are able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their imaginations. They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal. They are appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite them. They may themselves possess considerable literary, artistic or oratorical talent. Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact. Interestingly - because they give the impression of being down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average. If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism. A job in which they can express this, and in which they can do well, would be as a leader in a youth organization.

In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector. Both the Cancerian man and woman love unreservedly, giving much and asking little in return - in fact, one of the most important lessons they have to learn is how to receive gracefully. They are too easily influenced by those they love and admire, and swayed by the emotion of the moment. They are also loyal friends, the negative side of their faithfulness being clannishness, the narrow patriotism of "my country right or wrong"; and closing ranks in suspicion and coldness toward outsiders.

Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.

The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered. They can be tactless and difficult yet, because they are normally ambitious, they will curry favor by floating with majority opinions, outlooks and fashions of the day. As a result they often change their opinions and loyalties and, indeed, their occupations, and lack stability. They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters. Their romanticism in another sense make them ardent supporters of causes, for example a football team with whose heroes they can identify in a world of fantasy

LIKES
Hobbies
Romance
Children
Home and Country
Parties

DISLIKES
Aggravating situations
Failure
Opposition
Being told what to do ;)
Advice (good or bad)

Yeah, that sounds about right. I love astrology. It's so right, it's scary. Well, most of it. I don't know about that "easily corrupted" crap. From what I hear, I'm a tough person to corrupt. But I could be wrong. And what's up with this "likes parties" junk? Anyway, all you non-believers, you'd better find this pretty convincing. If this doesn't sound (mostly) like me, I don't know what does. Ooooh, everyone else has to put these up. I wants to sees em.

My Grandma Gordon won her election to be head of the school board or whatever in Zion. Go Grandma, Go Grandma, it's your birthday. I mean, election day.

Yeah.

I had a physical on Tuesday. I got two shots (well, a TB test and a blood sample) and it was horrible. I hate the feeling of the needle in my arm. It's so sick. Why anyone would do that on purpose, and with regularity, is beyond me. I needed to hold Mum's hand and it was sooooooooo ICKY. But the blood guy put a cool silvery sparkly bandaid over the...um...wound?, and gave me a few more when I asked. Nice.

On the plus side, I do not have tuberculosis, or however you spell it. And I got a pink Safe-T Pop.

Ever wonder why the ketchup bottles always say "Tomato Ketchup" when there's no other kind? That bugs me. I have no idea why.